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- guardian.co.uk, Sunday July 6 2003 01.47 BST
Several of the evangelical churches in Northern Ireland have been fighting a rearguard action against the British government's plans to outlaw the smacking of children by parents and teachers. The traditionalists with support from the Democratic Unionist Party argue that in the home and the school discipline can only be maintained by the ultimate sanction of the cane, strap or smack.
Moreover, the upright and uptight of extreme Protestantism point to various references in the Bible as justification for the continuation of corporal punishment in the house or the classroom. They even invoke the often spurious and tautological lexicon of 'human rights' to defend a parent or teacher's 'right' to chastise their child with physical violence extending this out to the 'rights' of religious communities to conduct their business free from the interference of the secular state.
Of course the outright ban on any smacking is vexed with absurdity. What parent hasn't resorted to a light slap or slight smack to calm down an out-of-control child who refuses to listen or pay heed to threats of an early bedtime or the withdrawal of sweets or toys? (Although most loving mothers and fathers regard smacking, no matter how mild, as a last resort.)
There is, however, something deeply suspicious about those who campaign to preserve institutionalised corporal punishment and link it to a general sacred mission to ward off the evils of secularism. Their fondness for the swish of the cane is as dubious as their obsessive hatred of homosexuals; in the latter case a classic example surely of killing the thing that many of them secretly love.
They behave, dress and even speak like Victorian Dad, that hilarious character in Viz comic. Victorian Dad administers daily beatings to his two children in the name of the Lord yet still finds time to engage in a spot of onanism in the closet over some pictures of naked Pacific islanders sent by one of his Christian missionary chums.
Born-again Christian missionary Geoffrey Briggs certainly believed in the Victorian maxim 'spare the rod, spoil the child'. Briggs, a Portadown-based overseas missionary, brought his fist down on the skull of a one-year-old Romanian twin boy he and his wife had adopted in July 2000. The child died and Briggs was later found guilty of causing grievous bodily harm. He lost his temper after the infant refused to take a spoonful of medicine. The missionary was jailed for one year.
A dogged and harrowing investigation by Andy Martin from BBC Northern Ireland revealed last week that after an exhumation a further 16 fractures have been found. Martin to his credit has uncovered not only Briggs's vicious behaviour towards the boy but also a catalogue of incompetence on the part of the health trust tasked with investigating the death.
The fate of the adopted twin is simply the horrifying terminus of the 'right' to inflict punishment on children. Behind the often debatable and contradictory biblical 'evidence' lies a sadistic and perverse authoritarianism.
At least those who enjoy S&M sex do so as consenting adults and have the honesty and decency to admit that they are kinky.
Sectarian Soccer
Bertie Ahern, a life-long Glasgow Celtic fan, now knows how every Glasgow Rangers player feels when they come to Landsdowne Road. The Taoiseach not for the first time this season was booed again last weekend at a GAA championship match at Clones Park.
It is hard to discern if the booing was prompted by frustrations over the dire state of Ireland's health service, the economic slowdown, the broken promises from election 2001 or the ire of Sinn Fein supporters who regard Ahern as too soft on the unionists or the Brits.
Disgusted of Dublin 4 and beyond have been protesting in the Irish Times letters page about the unsporting treatment of Ahern. The correspondents have rushed to Bertie's defence portraying the embattled Premier as the victim of a very un-Irish put down.
One wonders though where these defenders of Bertie-the-underdog were hiding when a small but very vocal section of Ireland's support booed every time a Georgian player touched the ball in May during a Euro 2004 qualifying game. The Georgian international happened to play his club football at Ibrox which was enough for some 'patriots' wearing Scottish football shirts (ie the hoops of Celtic) to boo his every pass, tackle and dribble. Be they Georgian, Norwegian or even Scottish, to don the famous blue jersey in domestic football is justification enough in these 'republican' eyes to be abused from the stadium.
Now that the Taoiseach has become a target of this type of unsporting hissing and boos perhaps he should lead the crusade against this very nasty, newfound sectarianism at Irish soccer internationals.
