- The Observer, Sunday September 7 2003
It's very scary being 13, you are no longer a child and you aren't an adult either. I wasn't really sure on who I was. I started hurting myself out of anger and I became very emotionally unstable. I had no idea what I wanted out of life. The changes were all so hard to take in and sometimes I felt I just couldn't take it any more. Much more is expected out of you at 13: you're no longer this little girl playing with Barbies any more, you have real responsibilities.
Sian, 15
I turned to drink and drugs to kill two birds with one stone. I numbed the pain of my parents' separation and I redeemed myself in the eyes of my classmates by being a wild, fun-loving, arty-hearty gal.
I lost my virginity one drunken night and that in a way, became another addiction. I'm calmer now but the things that happened to me when I was 13 had a tremendous impact on who I am now. I'm jaded and cynical and don't see life through rose-tinted glasses any more.
Elizabeth, 13
My parents know about the anorexia, but not about the cutting, drinking, smoking, sexual experimentation, or drugs. I hide it very well. I used to be a 'good girl' and sometimes I get upset that I am going behind my mother's back. But she is very controlling and there's a lot of stuff I do just to spite her. I want to make her angry and throw it in her face. Mind you, I hide everything, so I don't really throw it in her face and I won't until I turn 18 or until she finds out. Parents are clueless when it comes to teen culture.
Helen, 14
I'd say most parents really try to be their child's friend. It's the only way they think they can get to them and help them. But in becoming your child's friend, you're also setting yourself up for being treated like your child's friend; just as badly and irrationally.
Parents may think that they're getting closer by doing this but actually, it sets them up for their child pushing them further and further away. Parents have to find a happy medium where they're not too strict, but not too passive.
