- The Observer,
- Sunday September 10 2006
1. He starts to sport a skinny scarf, à la Russell Brand.
2. ... a belt which features any of the following: tassles, mirror fragments, topaz, antique coins.
3. ... or any footwear that has more than 12 lace-holes and/or heels higher than 2/3 of an inch.
4. He refers to half-time during a football match as 'the interval'.
5. He thinks the funniest line ever uttered was by powdered über-dandy Neil 'Bunny' Roger who, during his wartime service, encountered an old friend in a bombed-out monastery in Montecassino and, upon being asked what on earth he was doing there, replied 'shopping'.
6. He becomes suddenly familiar with any of the following words/phrases: ecru, bias-cut, nipped waist.
7. He has different kinds of moisturiser for his face and hands.
8. He starts to critique Angelina Jolie's outfits, rather than what's in them.
9. He gets his hair cut more than once every two months.
10. He leaves copies of Vogue open in the bathroom.
11. His clothes start to jostle yours for space in the wardrobe.
12. He stops laughing at what Laurence Llewelyn-Bowen is wearing.
13. He has shirts in more than one of the following colours: acid green, hot pink, orange, yellow.
14. He wants you to get on top all the time.
15. He starts calorie-counting because there's a particular pair of skinny jeans he wants to buy.
16. The only cocktails he can make are daiquiris.
17. He owns more than one sarong.
