- The Observer, Sunday October 8 2006
Just as you'd mastered the denim origami necessary to fold your skinny jeans into a pair of calf-high boots, Kate Moss goes and looks fabulous in something else. Cheers, Kate. Thanks.
Bored with the high-street copies and infinite compliments, she's binned her drainpipes for a pair of waisted Chloé flares, and the law requires us to follow. So it's farewell thongage, adios muffin tops, goodbye builder's bums - low-rise jeans have been banished to the bargain bins. It's fair to say that nothing will ever be the same again.
Scarlett Johansson sauntered down the Imitation of Christ catwalk last year in Monroe-esque slacks, but, it took Moss, the mayor of fashion, to truly drive the trend home, seen out at a Topshop show in waisted jeans. Fashion bloggers compared her to Simon Cowell, before grudgingly taking a match to their wardrobes and pulling on support pants to prevent unsightly camel-toe.
And here we are, warm. Gone, girls, the unholy chill as the wind caresses your love handles. The second Kate zipped her trousers up all the way, a million kidneys breathed a sigh of relief. Never again will a kindly stranger tap you on the shoulder to whisper that your knicker label is showing. High-waisted jeans need no frantic yanks at the bus-stop as a mischievous belly slops over your belt. These jeans make legs longer, waists slimmer and wearers braver. These are jeans that haul up a lazy arse and as the new cut flattens and lengthens, our fleshy rolls are edged ever upwards, ready to be slotted beneath a bra's under-wiring and promptly increase your cup-size. Drainpipes schmainpipes - these, friends, are the future of legs. Admittedly, though, if Kate Moss was seen in Global Hypercolour waders, we'd be first in line at Lakeside shopping centre.
