- guardian.co.uk, Sunday June 24 2001 16.16 BST
To be honest, I think there is a conspiracy against us. A Guy Fawkes plot. I've said it time and time again: that we're only here to play rugby. But every time you pick up a paper there's somebody having a pop at us. They say we cheat at the line-out, cheat at the scrum and are even worse at the tackle area.
Oh, and of course, we're dirty. We're the worst thing to hit Australia since the Lions of 1989. Well, I'm going to say it again. We are here to play rugby and that's all. It's a physical game and we are a very physical side - but we are not dirty.
I think they saw what we did in the first three games and decided to start a propaganda war against us. It's easy, isn't it. Bash the Poms. They're experts at it.
But look what it's all led to. That game yesterday was sick. And what Duncan McRae did was plain cowardly. The boys really hope they get the chance to play against him in England.
What did he say, that he was retaliating against Ronan O'Gara? That he'd been hit first? Sorry, that's not how we saw it. I asked Ronan and he said he'd cleared McRae out at the ruck. Fairly, too. No punch, no kick.
And then Ronan is punched. He said he thought he would just get the one and that McRae would run off. But then he takes another 10 cheap shots. That's way out of order.
And what were New South Wales playing at with all those players going on and off? They were taking the mickey.
The changing room was a bit of a mess afterwards. Touch wood, the injuries aren't serious, but there was a lot of bruised flesh. Including mine. I've had this bruised buttock all week - my very own dead-arse - and as we were warming up, Lawrence Dallaglio thought it would be a good idea to dump me right on it. I thought I wouldn't be able to play. The doc had to give me painkillers.
Nothing much happened during my eight minutes on the field. I mean nobody hit me, but there wasn't much shape to the game by that stage. We'd won it and they were still having a go. I can't add much more than that.
Who had good games for us? Well, Jason Robinson was sensational. I'm going off to rugby league for seven years if it teaches you to score tries like that. He's in great nick.
Mind you, there's not that much experience in the back three. I'm not trying to talk my way into a place on the wing - although I can't deny it has crossed my mind - but you need to have good communication among the wings and full-back. You need a lot of talk. Iain Balshaw needs to be encouraged. Sweet talk, really. Otherwise he might go into his shell. I'm good at sweet-talking Balsh.
He's putting a bit of pressure on himself and I know the dangers of trying too hard on this tour. You've got to be told how good you are and force yourself to relax, if that's possible.
It's hard to think of the Tests at the moment. This was such a fruitcake of a game that it's difficult to get my head around anything right now. The boys are hard nuts but I think they've been shaken by this. Which is perhaps the whole point.
I go back to my idea about the conspiracy. That's the whole point of it - to distract us from the job in hand.
We'll be OK, though. Well, the Test squad will be. Their serious work hasn't even started yet. That leaves a few of the lads who won't be playing much from now on. It'll be tough on them. Nobody said this was going to be easy, but I don't think some of us thought it was going to be such a mind-blowing slog. We have to stay together. Each and every blow to us must make us want to beat these Aussies more than ever.
