- The Observer,
- Sunday January 26 2003
As if Sir Terry Leahy did not have enough on his mind last week with taking Tesco into the battle for Safeway. First the FT and then the BBC call up demanding to know if it is true that Tesco has had to withdraw its ready-made Chinese meals because they may have Ricin.
Geddit? The dogged hacks took some convincing that this was an email prank. 'Never mind a product withdrawal, Cobra (Cabinet Office's Civil Contingency Committee) would have swooped,' observes a non-contaminated insider.
Wording boob
More evidence that the English language is a treacherous beast. The little tussle for Allders department stores takes a tricky twist. A puzzled financial PR calls to see whether we can shed light on the 'tits' strategy highlighted in the closing pages of some documentation issued in connection with Terry Green's bid. Sadly not. But it brings a new meaning to the concept of dotting 'i's' and crossing 't's'.
Recipe for success
Startling news. A management training video featuring celebrity chef Rick Stein has won nothing less than a Silver WorldMedal at the New York film and video festival. 'Stein started out with a passion to cook,' wibbles the PR blurb. 'As his business has grown so he's also become a successful manager.'
The highlight comes when Stein tells failed companies how to cope with the strain of Chapter 11 by doing monkfish cooked a la gigot of lamb. That bit about the monkfish is made up, obviously. We await Management II:. Jamie Oliver on the pukka way to do leveraged buyouts.
Double take
The underwhelming response to our 'Their mothers couldn't tell them apart' feature prompts us to dig around for more corporate eye-candy. This time we offer up legendary actor Omar 'Dr Zhivago' Sharif alongside Whitbread's chief executive, David Thomas. Moustachetastic.
Identity crisis
Swiftly on to more confused identities. One Neil Bennett (or was it two?) telephones and leaves a message on Cheapside. This Neil Bennett claims to represent the Sunday Telegraph . We call back. A Neil Bennett answers, this time claiming to be chief executive of the financial PR company Gavin Anderson and peddling trips to Newcastle upon Tyne.
Is it a Jekyll and Hyde mystery or is it simply a respected former business editor who cannot forget his past? Keep taking the large pay cheques, sir, we humbly suggest. Next week, two Rory Godsons call from the Sunday Times and Goldman Sachs.
Top timing
Ever fascinated by other people's vacation arrangements? We positively tingle at the news that the queen of retail, Susan Gilchrist of Brunswick PR, allegedly had last week off on holiday. Taking care to express concern lest the absence be for some reason other than R&R, we marvel at the doyenne of shopping's confidence. This was the week, after all, that a sixth bidder joined the sweaty melee around her client Safeway. And another client, M&S, was linked to the deal. Is it important, we ask? Only time will tell.
