News from nowhere

This week: SAS Storms Bagshot

A crack detachment of 100 SAS troops laid siege to the sleepy Surrey village of Bagshot yesterday, in an operation to effect a 'regime change' in the hamlet.

Junction 3 of the M3 was barricaded by armoured personnel carriers, as helicopters filled the skies between Camberley and Bracknell, and crack commandos broke down the doors of the town hall.

'When we asked them what they were doing,' said Alice Springs, 59, a resident, 'and offered to open the door. They weren't interested, muttering about how "the training takes over". No one's ever shunned one of my scones before.'

Defence officials last night admitted the raid had been a mistake, but praised the 'professionalism' of their troops, and insisted the operation was carried 'out to perfection', bar someone getting 'the last four letters of the town wrong'.

Last night, politicians were struggling to find a culprit to fire - or 'preferably jail'. Downing Street, trying to mimic Washington's moves to place the US military under greater civilian control, handed control of their 'anti-terror' plans over to 'fast-stream' graduates, in an effect to expedite the fall of Saddam Hussein. Many saw the raid as inevitable, after another blunder sent two armoured divisions to Surrey, rather than the Iraqi neighbour Syria.

News from nowhere

This article appeared in the Observer on Sunday September 15 2002 . It was last updated at 01:18 on September 15 2002.

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