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Disciples of the Mallet
Like swingers, fans of Limahl and fifth columnists, disciples of the mallet are out there. Why not take a class in the fascinating construction of new lawns (probably what curlers do in the summer): 'a specification which details the various substrate layers, drainage pipes and grass types, set out as a commissioning document'? Or failing this, throw away those six-wicket rules, and get a game on with the nine-wicket, backyard variety. Gripping stuff.

Dead Eye Darts
Do a framed picture of the Crafty Cockney and a first edition of London Fields share pride of place on your mantelpiece? If so, get yourself here and see where Keith Talent - Martin Amis's Notting Hill arrowmaster - never bought his darts. Check out the Unicorn flights or the Naughty Nudes, and to ensure an appearance on Bullseye for that child prodigy in the house, invest in some Black Dragon soft tips.

Canine Sports
We're all aware of what a dog-eat-dog world it is out there. So how refreshing to find that our canine friends can take seminars and advice from Chris Zink, D.V.M. and Ph.D: a 'foremost authority on the dog as an athlete' and award-winning author of 'Peak Performance: Coaching the Canine Athlete'. And if that isn't enough to get Rover lined up at the next Dog Olympics, then take solace in Zink's piece on Corpulent Canines - a cracking bedtime read.

Football Chants
'Meat Pie, sausage roll, come on Oldham give us a goal'; 'We are Carlisle, super Carlisle, no one likes us, but we don't care.' There comes a time in all our lives when, difficult though it may be, we just have to sit back and accept the truth. Like Taoist monks offering Zen, the good people at football-songs.co.uk offer a route to Nirvana that involves appreciating the simple things in life: 'I'm Oxford 'til I die, I know I am, I'm sure I am, I'm Oxford 'til I die...'