Frank Skinner on West Bromwich Albion
Interview by Denis Campbellguardian.co.uk
If it wasn't for the Albion, I might never have been born. My dad, who came from the North-east and played for Spennymoor United, came down to play against the Albion in the third round of the FA Cup in 1937. He met my mum, stayed down here and became an Albion fan. I was born in West Bromwich so I was never going to support anyone else, though a lot of kids at school supported Wolves or Aston Villa. If that local loyalty dies out, that would be one of the worst things that could happen to British football. Nowadays Sky has given us a big Premier League supermarket where kids can choose anything they like. For them it's, 'Why don't I just watch someone who's good?' rather than their nearest team.My first game was West Brom v Southampton at the Hawthorns the Saturday before Christmas 1967. It pissed down from start to finish and I got so wet that the blue from my overcoat went into my shirt. It was a 0-0 draw, but is still the best Christmas present I've ever had. I remember the noise, the smell of Woodbines and meat pies, being able to walk from behind one goal to the other at half-time, and the sensation of seeing in the flesh for the first time players who I'd only seen in the papers before then.
Jeff Astle played that day. He was the goal machine, the hero of the team, the big centre-forward. He was very elbowy but incredibly strong and great in the air. Dave Baddiel and I used Jeff in the first series of Fantasy Football League to help us recreate a goal he scored against Leeds in 1971, which was arguably offside, that some people said robbed Leeds of the championship. I thought it would be good for our 'Phoenix From The Flames' slot, but my ulterior motive was to meet my boyhood hero. He was living in Burton-on-Trent and working as an industrial cleaner. I remember on the side of his van it said: 'Jeff Astle window cleaning services - Jeff Astle never misses the corners'!
Over his mantlepiece was this massive black-and-white photo of the winning goal he got in the 1968 FA Cup Final when West Brom beat Everton 1-0, and beside it was a gold record for 'Back Home', the 1970 England World Cup squad theme song. Most of those players couldn't sing, but Jeff could, and he ended up doing a lot of the lead vocals on the squad album. So we came up with the idea for the 'Jeff Astle Sings...' feature on Fantasy Football. He now does the Jeff Astle Roadshow in which he sings, partly dressed as Tina Turner, tells jokes and answers questions about his career.
The first year I started going to see the Albion, they won the FA Cup and finished eighth in the old Division One. We were a big team then.
Then in the late Seventies we had terrific players like Cyrille Regis, Remi Moses, Laurie Cunningham, Bryan Robson and Derek Statham and were one of the best teams in the country. But the decline set in 1981 when Ron Atkinson left to manage Man United and took Robson and Moses, our midfield engine-room, with him. It was like Alex Ferguson leaving Man Utd and taking Roy Keane and Paul Scholes. We never got over that and eventually went down. Last season, when we were leading Bolton 2-0 with 10 minutes to go in the first leg of the play-offs at the Hawthorns, I just knew we were in the Premiership. But it ended 2-2 and we got hammered up there. After the final whistle we sang 'The Lord Is My Shepherd' - it's Albion's signature tune, I've no idea why - over and over again. We knew we'd got close and we wanted to savour our taste of success because Albion fans are so hungry to be a big team again. I seriously believe we'll be in the Premiership next season. Yes, Wolves and Birmingham have spent heavily without getting there, but look at what Ipswich, Bolton and Charlton have done. We've got a great stadium, a fantastic manager in Gary Megson, brilliant fans and some good players. Dave Baddiel says I'd rather West Brom got promoted than England won the World Cup, which is true. I'd even rather see West Brom get promoted than spend a night with one of my dream women, such as Denise Lewis.
I'd love just one season in the Premiership so I could recognise the opposing team's players, so we'd have big crowds again, so the Albion would be on The Premiership, so we'd be on all the Premiership stickers and so we'd be part of it. The Premiership feels like a big party that's going on up the road but we're not invited, and I really feel that Albion should be invited to the party.
Frank Skinner's autobiography, 'Frank Skinner by Frank Skinner', has just been published by Century.